In this article we are going to be talking about Forgiveness. Is there something in your life that you just can’t seem to let go of? Has someone in your life really bothered you? You know you should forgive them but you just can’t forget or let go of what happened.
This happens to a lot of people – they know that forgiveness is something they should strive for but can’t quite get there which makes them feel even more guilty.
It’s no wonder, as the way in which we are taught to forgive makes it difficult. I think we are taught to forgive in a way that is all wrong; we are told we should forgive and forget and it feels that we are letting that person off the hook.
This also makes us feel that anybody can do anything to us and we will say it is OK. This can make us feel vulnerable to being attacked again in the same way by that person and that we will just let them off the hook.
It is healthy for us to have boundaries and personal integrity so the usual advice on forgiveness can cause conflict within us. So how can we get peace from the memory of the situation without feeling like we are allowing someone to get away with it?
First – you don’t need to forgive the person or be open to them do it again. What they did was not OK by you, you don’t want that to happen again.
If you change your perspective and realise that it is not the person that you need to let off the hook, but to understand the situation, then you can move towards healing within yourself. You need to understand and process why the situation has come into your life. Once you get that ‘aha’ moment then the inner shift can occur so that you can move on from the emotions.
In Simply Divine we discuss how the Black Hole Principle implies that we have aspects of our consciousness out of space and time beyond the speed of light. This is what is traditionally called the Higher Self.
This is the aspect of us that chooses our lives and everything that happens in it. The key to our healing is to move towards an understanding of why our Higher Self has introduced a particular incident and the healing journey that this has engendered.
What has been this gift in this?
Just asking the question ‘what has been this gift in this?’ can shift the entire feelings about a situation. Sometimes this type of work is so effective that the situation will not affect us anymore and we will feel much more free.
In Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert she describes how she had an idea for a very specific type of novel with a particular type of plot and characters. Although she got a contract to write the book, she never got round to it as life intervened and she had the immigration struggle of her husband to deal with.
Elizabeth Gilbert, the author of Big Magic By Steve Jurvetson from Menlo Park, USA (Amusing Muses) [CC BY 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons
When she got back to the book, the impetus had left and she didn’t write it. So it was with amazement that she hooked up with another writer friend whom she had just met and not shared her plot with and essentially this friend was writing the same book only the details such as locationhad changed.
They had not conferred and there was nothing that the publisher could have said. Gilbert concluded that the book itself had needed to be birthed and as she herself had not done it, the idea had simply gone to someone else. Gilbert elaborates throughout the book on how ideas exist somewhere waiting to be birthed in partnership with us.
She admits that she doesn’t understand how it works. In The Genius Groove I outline how, with the scientific knowledge that we currently have we could explain the creative processes that Gilbert describes.
This models flips the usual explanation of consciousness around. Instead of consciousness and information being produced by the brain, the whole universe is created from consciousness as posited by some quantum physicists.
Even mainstream physicists discuss how all we can really know about the universe is information. When we get down to the tiny subatomic level, we find that reality is more ethereal than we first thought. When it comes to an electron for example, we cannot say why it always has a charge. We don’t know what is powering it. We can just say that the information of an electron is that it has an electric charge.
Science tells us that the universe is filled with information. Is this the source of our creative Big Magic? (Videoblocks)
So even mainstream scientists would agree that a fundamental aspect of the universe is information. In the new model of creativity the brain is not the generator of consciousness or information as the brain itself is made up of atoms. The brain is an organ that has a particular purpose to act as a conduit for information.
Concepts from Quantum Physics say that we are living in a dynamic field of light the Quantum Vacuum. From what we have discussed before – we know this field contains information.
We can now put the science behind Gilbert’s experiences. Projects, Poems and books can exist in the field, ready to come through the brain of a ready recipient.
So the idea for the novel existed as a wispy idea in the information field ready for someone to receive and downloaded the full novel. Maybe we should change the name from ‘Big Magic’ to ‘Big Informational Field Brain Processing’!
But I don’t think it will catch on. Essentially Gilbert has written a detailed description for her experience of creativity without proving a mechanism. Why should she? Science especially paradigm revolutionary science is probably not her thing.
Luckily we have a The Genius Groove for a fuller explanation complete with scientific references.
I have seen it many times, someone undergoes a spiritual awakening and the world becomes all sunshine and rainbows. They just can’t believe their luck and the new world that has opened up to them. They meet people who are psychic and who want a world filled with possibilities and beauty.
They explore community living, chakras, crystals, tarot. They pinch themselves that just a few months ago they were wondering if there was more to life and now here they are in New Age play land.
Making these new connections it suddenly seems possible that a new Earth could arrive very soon – a beautiful utopian land based on love and peace.
And them boom – life hits them in the face and they are pushed to the point of near disillusionment. They experience events which makes them question everything they have just learnt.
This can take the shape of three phases
Usually what happens first is that the oh-so-lovely spiritual people that our new age newbie has just encountered show themselves as they really are – people so keen to escape their issues that they have wandered into the fluffiness of the New Age.
But their emotional traumas remain and show up just as before. This is even more confusing for the newbie as people seemingly so full of love and light up front turn around and act in a vicious manner.
This feels to the newbie as even worse then the ‘normal’ world they thought they had left as at least people there were more upfront about being ruthless. This is a pretty common occurrence for some stepping on the spiritual path.
2. Life events blow up
Another very common occurrence is that shortly after waking up spiritually, life events occur in the person’s life that can bring them to their knees: divorce, job loss and more. This blow up can cause most people to turn their back on spiritual awaking yet it is often not possible. Once out of the box, it cannot be put back in.
Often people lose out on the financial income that they enjoyed before. Many people have immense spiritual skills but they can’t find a way for these skills to lead to financial support.
It seems that the worlds of the spiritual and that of the material are very far apart. They start to lose faith in their own spiritual journey and become disillusioned with it all as ‘airy fairy’ nonsense that is not practical. They don’t see how to keep their integrity and make money.
3. The Road to Integration
This is the Flipside of spirituality and it can be painful. But this doesn’t have to be the point when someone jacks in their journeying and exploration (not that it is possible anyway). Andrew Harvey speaks of undergoing the initiation of the light and then the initiation of the dark.
The truth is we need both to become fully integrated on the journey. We need the dark and the light, the conscious and the subconsciousness, the spiritual and the practical, the immaterial and the material, the matter and the antimatter. If you follow my work you will know what I mean by that last example.
If you can ride the storm through this initiation of the dark and understand it for what it is you will be able to become a more integrated and clearer person. You can exist in the realms of the dimensions as well as have a job if this is what you want.
You will be able to see a lot of the New Age types for who they often are – people escaping from childhood emotional traumas. This means you will have a more balanced view of people and of the world that will put you in better positions than the initial floaty escapism that characterises spiritual newbies.
I am not judging this phase either – I have totally been there myself – we all have. It just becomes very confusing and I hope this article helps people to realise they are not alone in having similar issues blow up in their face. They don’t have to completely reject their spirituality when this happens but can move forward in a more integrated way.
In truth it is your own subconscious emotions and shadow self that are exploding and this is what is reflecting in the world ‘out there’. This insight will help you to navigate some of the most difficult storms.
I have created an online course called Simply Divine which is designed to help you to navigate the shifts including the dark night of the soul and connect more deeply to spirit. To find out more about Simply Divine click here.
Physicists generally avoid discussing consciousness. It seems to be too ethereal a subject for them really to get hold of. It forces them to enter a world outside of calculations and experiments and examine the world of human behaviour which is far less predictable and controllable.
But the past twenty years has seen a shift in science as a whole where the once forbidden topic of consciousness is coming to the forefront. Possibly because it is the last frontier and people are running out of other topics to study for their PhDs.
Yet it was still a surprise when Max Tegmark, a theoretical physicist at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology in Cambridge tackled the problem in 2014 and published a paper suggesting that Consciousness could be a state of matter. You can read the abstract here. http://arxiv.org/abs/1401.1219
You can see his TED talk below.
He is basically arguing that consciousness is not something external that is animating matter, but a consequence of the way in which matter is arranged mathematically.Tegmark himself states that there are many gaps in his idea.
One that really springs to mind for me is what happens when people are clinically dead and then are resuscitated? Or how much of a rearrangement is necessary from moment to moment for a being to be alive at one point and then dead the next?
Questions and gaps aside it is good to see that such a prominent physicist actually tackling the question at all as he open the gates for others to consider the topic too.
Of course here at Paradigm Revolution we have been discussing consciousness and matter for many years. You can get started by exploring this website or checking out Simply Divine which is an easy guide to the Science of Spirituality.
I’ve seen it happen dozens of times. When someone has something they want to publicise they carefully print a load of leaflets – sometimes to great expense. They talk to all the kind coffee shop owners who agree to put their leaflets out on the coffee bar. They send out press releases. They book a time and a venue and then they wait: sure that their shiny new leaflets will have a great response.
And nothing happens, nobody comes. By this time the person is out of pocket by a significant amount having printed the leaflets and hired the venue complete with teas and coffees. Humiliated, they give up and never try to publicise their event or product again.
Image: Graphic Stock
From social to coffee shops
Then, along came social media. We were told that this is the new Holy Grail. I have seen authors ponder for weeks before finally signing for a twitter account suspicious of the genre. Then they start to tweet. And again nothing happens. Tweeting becomes then the online equivalent of leaving loads of leaflets in a coffee shop.
All of these methods, be it leaflets in a coffee shop or tweeting to the wide world have something in common. You are sending your message out to people who haven’t told you that they are interested hoping that some of the message is going to stick.
Who is ready to receive you?
It is far better to target your message to people whom you know are going to have some interest in you before developing a long term relationship with them before you actually sell them anything.
By the time that this happens, your audience should be ready and understand who you are so will consider what you have to offer. Gradually they should also trust you and believe the product is going to be something that they want from the free content that you have already given to them.
Creating your Customer Avatar
The internet is awash with advice on how to find your target market. Often the advice is to break this down into a theoretical person or avatar. Imagine who they are – male or female? What is their name, where do they hangout either online or offline? Slowly you can build up a picture of your customer avatar and their wants and needs. Why do you think they will be interested in your authentic message?
Image – Pixabay, Shutterstock
If you have found this message useful keep in touch with ‘How to be a Spiritual Expert in a Material World’ on Facebook dedicated to helping people of the spiritual persuasion with their authentic message and mission.
To say I have been through a major crisis is an understatement. As some of you know, I went through a period of time when I lost my marriage, my career and home all within the space of a few months. I also faced an investigation into my mental health by the medical authorities instigated by my ex-husband during our split.
Suffice to say 2002 was a real crisis year and without the principles of the universe that I already knew about, I am not sure I would have got through it in the way that I did. So the scientific discoveries I had been making, even until that point were crucial in my recovery.
So here are the tips that helped me to get through a crisis gained from my awareness of how the universe works. I hope they help you.
1) Everything is a mirror of your emotions at some level even if these emotions originate in past lives.
Before this major crisis, I feared an investigation by the medical profession due to my spirituality. Of course, that is what I manifested. But on the flip side, once I was through it, I was through my biggest fear and although my bank balance suffered, I felt liberated.
During the investigation an interesting phenomenon happened – I developed a dark mark around my neck. I wondered if it was a noose mark leaving a multidimensional imprint from a hanging in a past life. I was with some spiritual people discussing the medical investigation into my mental health and I pointed out the mark.
One woman immediately piped up,”noose mark”. It was as if a fear regarding persecution from the authorities had leaked into my current life and was creating this investigation. The mark disappeared after a few days.
Sometimes it will take some searching but it is possible to find the emotional cause of events in your life. When I am working with clients, I scan their current lives, past lives and their multidimensional selves. It is in this way that we can often get to the root cause of what is holding someone back in the present moment. If are interested in having a multidimensional coaching session then get in touch with me using the contact page.
2) Your Higher Self sets up lesson from out of space and time to help you to understand and grow.
The purpose of life is NOT to feel comfortable but to learn the maximum amount whilst we are incarnated. This is how you grow your consciousness which is all you take with you when you eventually leave this world. But you are not a victim in all of this; an aspect of your own being can see the big picture from beyond space and time and it is this aspect of you that sets up your life lessons.
We are all multidimensional and it is from this perspective that we set up your life lessons. I knew even in the height of my difficulties that I had set this up myself in order to get me on my true path. And indeed I left the medical profession and have been on my true path ever since.
3) A crisis is feedback.
Even in the midst of the worst argument or conflict you can see the reflection of your shadow. Take a mental note of what you pick up from a situation about yourself and journal on it later. A simple example – say somebody is arguing and hurling names at you, make a mental note of what these names are and if any of them hurt more than the others.
if you feel triggered by what is said, then there are probably some underlying emotions that you can do work on later by journalling for example. You may actually believe what is being said about you at a subconscious level.
I am not suggesting you necessarily try to do this in the heat of the moment, but by shifting your awareness like this, the crisis may shift too. So a crisis becomes a feedback opportunity for your own growth.
4) Ask for help
Realistically, I think very few of us bare our souls to others outside of our family. We often give the impression that everything is wonderful as we are afraid of the shame and the vulnerability that comes if we say that we are going through a hard time.
However if we do reach out to a friend when in a crisis you will be surprised at how people will gladly come to your assistance. Some will leave your life but they were probably looking for you to confer some sort of status on them and, if you are not matching up to their projections, they will leave your life and that is OK.
But there will be some friends who are genuine and if you reach out to them in a crisis you may find that they are true friends and you depend on them in a crisis.
5) Be kind to yourself and try doing nothing.
Do the minimum that you have to do to get by but otherwise rest and do nothing for periods of time. In this time your emotions will be working themselves out so it may look like you are doing nothing but internally you are working like crazy.
Taking this time will help you to heal in order to move onto the next stage of your life. So don’t feel guilty for doing nothing – this is a really essential step for your recovery during a crisis.
I hope this has given you some tools for handling the next crisis you go through. If you would like some more strategies that come from the deeper understanding of the cosmos then have a look at Simply Divine – an easy guide to the Science of spirituality. Click the button below for more.